Catching Fire: Peeta's POV
by ordinaryclary
Summary: Same as the original Catching Fire, but rewritten to show how Peeta was feeling.
1. Chapter 1

Catching Fire

Part I: "The Spark"

1

I awake in my new house in Victor's Village. I head over to the bakery to do some work with my family before any reporters show up. The bakery is like my safe house. During the games I had often wished I could be in this very spot. The smell of baking bread, the feel of flour on my hands, the sound of my brothers laughing and joking. My witch of a mother has even let up on beating me since I came home alive. I guess the thought of me dying and never being with my family again really changed her outlook. I finish up the last batch of bread and head home to get ready for the camera crews.

I stand in the shower for longer than I should. I just can't imagine what this Victory Tour is going to be like. It was all a show, Katniss didn't actually love me during the games. Every kiss was one big lie to get more sponsors. I loved her, I truly did. And now I have to go to every district of those tributes that died so we could win, to the capitol full of those fake people that wanted to watch us kill in the first place. And worst of all I have to pretend that Katniss and I are truly, madly, deeply in love; when really I'm the only one that has ever felt that way.

I force myself to get dressed and head over to Haymitch's house about an hour before we need to catch our train. The smell of his filth is unbearable the second I walk through the door. I head to his bedroom to find that Katniss is already there.

I walk in as she says, "Look, if you wanted to be babied, you should have asked Peeta."

"Asked me what?" I'm slightly offended by that comment, but I won't let it show. Even after all that's happened I care to much about her to upset her.

I walk over to the table to set a fresh loaf a bread down that I brought for him. I feel Katniss's eyes on me the entire time.

"Asked you to wake me without giving me pneumonia," Haymitch says with some bitterness in his voice. He has never been good at being waken up, and it makes it especially hard since he has slept with a knife ever since he won his games.

Haymitch hands me his filthy knife and without having to ask I pour some of his clear liquor on it and wipe it clean on my shirt. I begin slicing the bread and offer some up to Katniss too. "Would you like a piece?"

"No, I ate at the Hob, but thank you." Her voice hasn't sounded the same when she's spoken to me since the cameras left. It's far too formal for her.

"You're welcome," My voice doesn't sound very welcoming either.

"Brrr. You two have a lot of warming up to do before showtime." I almost forgot Haymitch was in the room with us.

Of course, the Capitol is expecting the lovesick, star-crossed lovers that won the Games. It's really hard to act like that when you truly did feel that love and the one you loved, risked your life for, won the games with, doesn't actually love you back.

All Katniss says to Haymitch is "Take a bath," and then she hops right out of the window. She still amazes me at how good she is at climbing.

I say goodbye to Haymitch and tell him to get ready, then leave (using the front door). I can't do crazy things like jumping out of the window like Katniss does. Especially after the games when I lost my leg and got this big metal this to replace it.

My house is quiet. I sit in the kitchen and eat a cheese bun left over from last night's dinner. There's not much to do now but wait for the tour to start.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry if it's not that good! I waited really long to write this chapter and just wanted to get it up. I wasn't sure how to go about it so I hope its not completely terrible!

2

It seems like forever has passed already, yet it's only been about 15 minutes. I don't know what to do until my prep team comes to get me dressed. I sit at the window and watch the snow start to fall and I see my father walking to the door.

"Hey Peeta, you ready for the tour?" I know my dad is a little upset that I have to leave again. He was so excited to have me back home, but this time when I leave there is no uncertainty to if I will come home dead or alive (unless I could die of a broken heart).

"I guess so.. I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle everything." My dad is one of the only people who really know that the entire thing was a complete act from Katniss in the games, but he also knows that everything I did and said was out out of mad love for the girl. He should know what it's like; he did fall in love with her mother before and lost her to Mr. Everdeen. He knows more than anyone that the look Katniss gave to me wasn't real love. "I just hope she can still keep her act up for the Capitol, you know I don't have to, but I don't want to see her slip up and upset anyone."

"You know she will do just fine. Just try to treat her the same. Who knows.. maybe she just needs time, there's still a chance she could fall in love with you like you love her."

"If she couldn't even fall in love with me stuck in an arena with me where we could die at any time, I don't think she will on a trip where everything we could possibly need is given to us. Besides, I'm sure she's probably spent plenty of her time with Gale now that she's home and she's probably already secretly with him."

"You don't know that Peeta. He's been working in the mines since you guys have gotten back from the games. Katniss has been the only one out in the woods during the week doing the hunting. There isn't much time for her to spend with him. And besides, she may have known him for a long time but she didn't fight to the death with him in an arena and risk her life to save his like she did for you. Think about that on the train ride. I need to get back to the bakery, but just remember, it's never too late for love." At that he walks out and I'm alone again.

I stare out the window at Katniss's house hoping to maybe catch a glimpse of her. All I see is Snow walking out the front door and getting into a car. That's weird, why would President Snow go to see Katniss before the tour and not me? I should say something to her, but I don't want to make her mad at the very start of this tour. I'm sure it was no big deal. He was probably just wishing us a safe trip and thought I was at the bakery still. I still trust her enough to believe that if it was anything bad she would let me know. I mean I'm just as much a part of all of this as she is.

I think about going to see Haymitch about all of this but I'm sure he's just fixing his morning hangover with more alcohol right now and is probably to drunk to have a conversation with.

Instead I think about what my father said. Maybe it isn't too late. Maybe if I can just show Katniss how much I still care about her, even after everything that's happened, maybe she'll realize that she has some sort of feelings for me other than just her ally. I have to at least try.


	3. Chapter 3

3

I'm still staring out the window when cars pull up to our houses honking their horns. I see Cinna and Katniss's prep team get out and head to her house. Then I see Portia and my prep team come to my door. I'm opening the door before they even have a chance to knock. I greet my team with the upmost respect and joy. I guess I really did miss Portia. She did make me some amazing costumes after all.

My prep team takes me to the bathroom upstairs to fix my hair and clean my dirty finger nails. I've really let my hair grow out lately, not really having much of a reason to do anything to it. My nails are filled with flour and other crumbs from working this morning. They spend most of the time talking amongst themselves. They ask me how I handle all of the excitement of the upcoming tour and how great it will be getting to mentor in the Quarter Quell that is not so far away.

I smile as much as I can stand and answer in short, polite statements. I don't want to show them how much I truly hate everything that is about to happen. They really don't know any better, it's how they were raised. I almost feel sorry for the Capitol people because they will never have any sense of reality and how hard the people in the districts lives are.

After they've cleaned them out, trimmed my hair, and slicked it back I'm sent downstairs to meet up with Portia. She has a basic winter outfit set out for me. I put on the black wool pants, white t-shirt, green and black sweater, and a basic gray colored coat. She gives me comfortable black boots that almost remind me of the ones from the games, but much more fit to my feet and the nicest pair of black leather gloves that I've ever touched.

Once I'm all dressed a camera crew comes in to film my talent. It just so happens that I am as great an artist on canvas as I am on cakes. Now that I have all of this extra money from winning I can afford to buy actual canvas and pre-made paints (instead of searching for different berries to mix and make paint, which doesn't leave room for a large variety of colors). I show them my paintings, many of them are scenes from the arena. After showing off the paintings on camera I sit and read from some cards about my talent; how I started, why I love it, what my inspirations are, stuff like that. It's all recorded and will be edited into the show later.

Effie comes bursting inside reminding us that we are on a schedule and we need to get moving. She tells us we need to get ready to go outside for the shooting of Katniss and I meeting up. She hurries back out and I see her running in her high heels over to Katniss's house to probably say the exact same thing. As annoying as she gets sometimes with her schedules, I can honestly say I did miss her craziness.

I'm standing on the sidewalk outside of our houses waiting for Katniss. I see her walking out of her front door wearing the earmuffs that would look ridiculous on anyone else, but on her they look cute. I see her start smiling and before I know it she is racing towards me. I catch her in my arms and spin her around. This new metal leg still isn't that sturdy for me, I'm still working on getting used to it. I fall down in a pile of snow and Katniss falls right on top of me. All of the sudden we're kissing and its not like kissing in the games. This time I can feel that there is no passion, no real love in it. Either way I hold on tight to her, reassuring her that I will always be there to steady her, that I can be her rock. Maybe she really will come around to me.

Katniss pulls me to my feet and tucks her hand around my arm. We walk together to the train station and board the train. Once we are on the train we both head to our own rooms and shut the doors. Of course, I knew everything was for the cameras. Just one big show, but I'm just longing to spend time with her, hold her like I did in the cave, kiss her and know that she really feels something back.

The train stops for fuel and I sit staring out my window. I see Haymitch crash into the snow and Katniss following him, pulling him to his feet. They keep walking all the way down past the end car. I don't know what they're talking about but I wish they would involve me in it too. I have to get through this tour and mentor future tributes just like she does. So why does everyone keep speaking with her in private and not bothering to talk to me? I still have faith that she will tell me what is going on when she is ready. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can help her.

I watch as they walk back towards the train and get back on board right before we start moving again. All I can think about is how I want to spend the rest of my life with that girl. No matter how many other girls I meet, I will never love them the way I love Katniss. I want to marry her and have kids with her. I can only hope that one day she will wish for the same.


	4. Chapter 4

4

I lie in bed and try to sleep but it doesn't seem to come. I think about how ridiculous it was for me to think Katniss would want to marry me and have kids. Maybe by some crazy chance she could marry me, but after all we've been through I don't believe she would ever consider having kids. She risked so much just to save her little sister and would have no way of doing the same again. I think for a minute how stupid I must be for ever considering kids now too. To think that I would be ok with bringing new children into this country with a chance of them having to fight to the death like we did makes me feel sick.

I feel as if I just got to sleep when Effie comes to wake me up. I don't want to get out of bed but I should be grateful I'm not Katniss. I heard they were going to wake her up extra early because she had to prep more than I did.

I eat a little food and then my prep team comes in to get me ready. They rip any facial hair I have out and I know better than to protest now, no matter how bad that hurts. Then they smooth some chemical on my face to keep it smooth like they did in the games. I wonder if Katniss hates when they do this to me. I mean she does seem to fancy Gale, the outdoors boy with the scruff and dirty look to him.

We all make our way to lunch and start to eat. Katniss hasn't arrived yet and as I start to wonder if she'll even show up she walks into the car. She looks distressed and won't eat anything. She must have had a really rough morning getting ready. I glance at her multiple times but she won't even look at me. What could I have possibly done that would have upset her? I've barely even seen her since we got on the train. Maybe I should have made more of an effort to talk to her, see how she's handling everything. Or maybe it's because our first stop is in District 11. She loved that little girl, I know by the way she talked about her. Not to mention Tresh did save her life and she couldn't return the favor. Maybe she just isn't ready to face their families.

My thoughts are interrupted by the train stopping. Apparently some part of it broke and it will take some time to fix. Of course, Effie is having a panic attack and immediately starts trying to rearrange the schedule. I look at Katniss and can see she is about to snap.

"No one cares, Effie!" She screams. Everybody's conversations stop and they all stare at her. Her face turns an extreme shade of red and she says, "Well, no one does!" Then she gets up and storms out of the car. Everyone is in complete shock. Effie is clearly upset and offended and the rest don't know what to do.

Without thinking I get up to leave. "I'm going to find Katniss. She's clearly upset and I think I can help her the most." I step outside and the fresh, warm air feels so nice. I see Katniss sitting a couple hundred yards away and head towards her.

Of course she can hear me coming, I was never a quiet walker and I'm even worse with this metal leg. She must think I'm Haymitch coming to ring her out because she says "I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

"I'll try to keep it brief." I sit down next to her, but not too close to upset her more. I know that she might need a little space.

"I thought you were Haymitch." I suppress a smile, I knew it. I just wonder why she couldn't think that I would want to be with her to comfort her.

"No, he's still working on that muffin." I'm trying to position my leg into a comfortable position. One of the worst things about it is that I can never really get that comfortable with it. "Bad day, huh?"

"It's nothing" I know its not nothing. She always seems to try to fight to show any real emotions. It just makes loving her so much more work than any other girl. Too bad I'll never want any other girl.

I guess its time to just make some amends, maybe she'll actually open up. I want her to trust me. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry." That may have been one of the hardest things I've ever had to say but now its out in the open. I really can't be upset that she never actually loved me. I had a secret crush on her my whole life and never even tried to talk to her until we were about to fight to our death.

"I'm sorry, too." She doesn't need to apologize to me.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends."

"Okay" is all she says. But its enough for me for now. Just knowing that she doesn't completely hate me makes me feel better. And you can't fall in love with someone if you can't even be friends, right?

"So what's wrong?" I realized she still hasn't talked about the freak out inside. She avoids the question and picks at some weeds on the ground. I decide I should just stick to basics right now. "Let's start with something more basic. Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine... but I don't know what your favorite color is?"

I know I said something right when I see that cute little smile form at the corners of her mouth. "Green," she says, "What's yours?"

"Orange" I say.

"Orange? Like Effie's hair?" she says, her smile is widening and I can't help but smile back.

"A bit more muted, more like... sunset."

I watch her as she looks up at the sky. "You know, everyone's raving about your paintings. I feel bad I haven't seem them." I feel that I should show her but I'm not sure what kind of reaction she will have since they're all recollections of the Games.

"Well, I've got a whole train car full," I get to my feet and hold my hand out to her, "Come on." It's probably better to see them now, even if it upsets her, than to wait until their shown on stage and catch her by surprise. The last time I surprised her on stage I got a flower pot thrown at me.

We head back to the train holding hands. It feels great to hold her hand, even out of friendship. I missed her touch. She stops me at the door and looks up at me. "I've got to apologize to Effie first." I help her up into the cart.

"Don't be afraid to lay it on thick." I know how Effie is about manners and what Katniss said definitely offended her.

I sit down in the dining car with the rest of the team while Katniss apologizes. I have to keep myself from laughing because her apology is so long and strung out which I know is not like her. In the back of her mind she must be so unhappy about having to do this. When she finishes Effie accepts her apology.

"I know how much stress you must be under, Katniss. You must be so worried about looking perfect during this tour and I'm sure you're already planning for your first year as mentor! Even though your under a lot of pressure you can't take it out on me. This trip would fall to pieces if I wasn't here to attend to the schedule and keep everyone on board." Katniss really got off easy with Effie's speech. It could have turned out a lot worse.

I take Katniss by the hand and lead her down to my painting car. I don't know how I thought she would react. She stares at every painting and seems to be taking in all of them. Some are hard to tell that they are from the games since you would have had to be with me to figure them out. Ones like the water dripping from cracks in the cave. The dried up pond bed when the Capitol wanted to lead us to the lake. A picture of my hands digging in the ground for edible roots while Katniss was out hunting. Other paintings everyone would know. The golden Cornucopia. Clove organizing her knives on the inside of her jacket. The mutt, with blond hair and green eyes, that was supposed to represent Glimmer. Then there are paintings of Katniss, many of them, doing everything she did during the games. I hope she likes those the best.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"I hate them," she says. I knew she might not like them right away but I wasn't expecting her to hate them all. She has a look of disgust mixed with fear on her face. "All I do is go around trying to forget the arena and you've brought it back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?"

"I see them every night," I answer. It's true. I have nightmares about losing Katniss, running from the mutts right before I get bit in the leg. Everything from the arena comes back to life every single night in my head and I can never sleep.

"Me, too. Does it help? To paint them out?" I should have known she had nightmares too. She is the strongest girl I've ever met, but that doesn't mean she doesn't live with the same trouble I do after the Games.

"I don't know. I think I'm a little less afraid of going to sleep at night, or I tell myself I am. But they haven't gone anywhere."

"Maybe they won't. Haymitch's haven't," she says. He never says that he still has nightmares, but that must be why he always sleeps with a night. He stays drunk all the time to block out reality and would rather pass out drunk then try to fall asleep in that fear.

"No. But for me, it's better to wake up with a paintbrush in hand than a knife," I say, "So you really hate them?"

"Yes. But they're extraordinary. Really, they are." This makes me feel better. Even if she doesn't like what I painted, at least I know she likes my talent. "Want to see my talent? Cinna did a great job on it."

I can't help but to laugh at her. "Later." The train starts moving again. "Come on, we're almost to District Eleven. Let's go take a look at it."

We head to the very last car and sit down on a couch. The roof retracts so we get the fresh, warm air outside. We pass by open fields filled with dairy cows. All these open fields must make Katniss feel so out of place. The train starts to slow and a huge fence appears before us. It is nothing like the fence back home. At least thirty-five feet high, coils of barbed wire running along the top, plates of metal running along the bottom to prevent anyone from slipping underneath. These must be electrified 24 hours. I can see Katniss looking at them with fear.

"That's something different," I say, trying to ease the tension in her.

Once we're inside, there seems to be nothing but crop fields. Men, women, and children are all working with straw hats to keep the sun out of their eyes. They turn to look up at us as the train passes. I see Katniss looking out to the orchards and I know she must be thinking of that little girl, Rue. Then I see that all of the houses are deserted. Every single able body must be used in the fields during the harvest.

"How many people do you think live here?" I ask as we keep passing through the district. It is much bigger than I ever imagined. Katniss simply shakes her head as if to say "I don't know."

Effie shows up and tells us we must get dressed now. I head back to my room and let my prep team get me ready. I get dressed and meet Katniss. Effie goes through the day's program but I can't seem to focus on what she's saying. Katniss is wearing this orange frock, patterned with autumn leaves. She looks so beautiful and it's as if she knew I loved that color even before I told her as Cinna planned out her outfits.

We have to give a small speech directed to allied tributes, which includes Katniss's alliance with Rue. She said that she just couldn't get anything to say together for Rue and Tresh. I have something planned and I can just change it a bit to count for both of us. She does say that I'm so much better with words anyways. Then we will be presented with some sort of plaque and can go to the Justice Building for dinner.

The train pulls into the District 11 station. There is no one on the platform to welcome us. Instead, a squad of eight peacekeepers take us to the back of an armored truck. As the door shuts Effie says, "Really, you'd think we were all criminals." I noticed that Katniss shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

We are let out around the back of the Justice Building and shoved inside quickly. It smells like a mixture of delicious food and mold. They send us straight to the front entrance as the anthem starts to play outside. Workers come to attach microphones to us and I grab Katniss's hand to support her. The doors open and the mayor introduces us.

"Big smiles!" Effie cheerfully says, while pushing us to the door.

People applaud, but no where near as excitedly as in the Capitol. We walk together to the end of the verandah where the sun is shining in our eyes. I look out and notice that the crowd can not possibly be the entire district's population.

They have built a special platform for the tributes' families. I see an old woman hunched over and I tall, muscular young girl who must be Thresh's sister. I see Katniss look over at Rue's family and her eyes fill with sorrow. She has five younger siblings, who all look so much like her.

Once the applause dies down, the mayor gives a speech in honor of us. Then it's my turn to give our speech that I planned out ahead of time. I'm relieved that I remembered all of the parts we've changed to make it count for Katniss and I both. Katniss concludes the speech.

I add some comments about Thresh and Rue making it to the final eight, keeping Katniss alive - therefore keeping me alive - and the debt we can never repay them. I add one more thing that wasn't on the practice cards. "It can in no way replace your losses, but as a token of our thanks we'd like for each of the tributes' families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives."

Gasps and murmurs erupt from the crowd. I don't really know if this is legal, but I didn't care to ask anyone. We did earn the winnings anyways, I think we should be allowed to do whatever we want with them. The families look in shock. A month of our winnings can take care of their families for a whole year.

Katniss looks over at me and I give her a sympathetic smile. She stands on her toes to reach me and kisses me. It actually feels like a real kiss, as if she really does have feelings for me. Maybe my father was right.

The mayor comes up and presents us both with plaques so large that Katniss sets her flowers down to hold it. The ceremony is coming to an end and I notice Katniss and one of Rue's sisters are staring at each other. Her sister looks upset. Katniss gets a look of guilt on her face and I know something is about to happen.

"Wait!" She stumbles forward, holding the plaque as tightly to her chest as she can. I knew she would want to say something. "Wait, please." She struggles with her words and then they come all at once.

"I want to give my thanks to the tributes of District Eleven. I only ever spoke to Thresh one time. Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him. For his power. For his refusal to play the Games on anyone's terms but his own. The Careers wanted him to team up with them from the beginning, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that." At that, I see the old woman on Thresh's side look up. She has a small smile forming on her lips. Katniss thinks she's no good with words, but she is amazing.

The crowd goes completely silent, as if they are holding their breath.

She turns to Rue's family. "But I feel as if I did know Rue, and she'll always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the Meadow by my house. I see her in the mockingjays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim." Her voice starts to tremble. "Thank you for your children." She moves to address the whole crowd. "And thank you for the bread."

She stands there, looking as if she might just fall over. She had no idea, the effect she can have. Her speech was the most incredible thing I have ever heard. All eyes are trained on her. Out of nowhere, Rue's four-note mockingjay tune that Katniss told me about starts. I man who whistled meets her eyes.

Every single person in suddenly in unison. They press their three fingers of their left hand to their mouths and extend them to Katniss. It's the sign she got at the reaping, and the sign she gave in the Games to say good-bye to Rue.

Katniss seems to be really shaken up. It must be from her big speech. The mayor closes the ceremony and I lead her to the door during the final applause.

"Are you alright?" I ask her. She looks terrified and distant.

"Just dizzy. The sun was so bright." She says. She looks at my bouquet. "I forgot my flowers."

"I'll get them." I tell her.

"I can" She answers.

We head back out to the verandah and see the most terrible thing. I should have made her stay inside. This can't be good for Katniss to see.

A pair of Peacekeepers are dragging the old man who whistled up the steps in front of the whole crowd. Immediately they put a bullet through his head.


End file.
